Wednesday, May 21, 2008
My brother was not only my big brother; he was friend, and confidant my entire life.
My earliest memories of Vinny, were waking up in the morning when I was about 5 years old. I was an early riser, and would wander the house to see who was awake or who convince it was 12:0 somewhere in the world! Sometimes, he would hear me coming down the stairs to his room. Just before I got there he would hide and jump out and scare me...I hated it and loved it all at the same time. We would have a laugh then eat cereal, talk about things and wait for everyone else to wake up.
One of my favorite memories as a child was a summer night, laying on the car's hood in the driveway, searching the endless sky for shooting stars. We would watch for what seemed to be hours, for anything in the sky to move. He always saw them; my glance just a little too late. He showed me the major constellations and spoke as if he knew them all personally. I loved this time we spent together and became feel in love with the sky. I still find comfort in the night sky and always in search of a shooting star.
The 60's were a time of major changes and my brother was very inspired by the music and art of that time. The Beatles were one of his favorites along with James Taylor, Carole King, Bob Dylan and so many others.
As a family, we listened to records and he played some songs over and over again. He would then learn to play his favorites on the guitar and piano without sheet music. He inspired me to play the guitar, piano, write songs and sing. His love for music and the arts continued throughout his life and gave him great joy. His piano playing was magical, and his master of the guitar was another incredible achievement. He loved to entertain us, and we loved to listen.
The other day I looked at his hands as he was lying in bed; although his body had become weak, his hands still were strong and had remained unchanged. He hadn't lost the power to hold hands back, or let us know he was still with us, even when he couldn't speak.
A couple of weeks ago we spoke about death and what happens after we go. He was afraid and didn't want to leave us. In fact, he felt bad for us, and apologized for not being well. As always, he was thinking of us, not himself. I know he believed most recently that there was a better place. In the last couple of weeks, I knew he was at peace with moving on, although, he still felt upset about all of us.
I know I will finally get to see that shooting star in the night sky this summer. I know that star will be my brother Vinny finally part of the beautiful heavens that he so loved.
